Miu Miu : Front Row - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Fall/Winter 2014-2015

It’s been less than a week since Lupita Nyong’o won her much-deserved Oscar for best supporting actress in 12 Years A Slave, and it’s taken only slightly longer than that for various media outlets to concoct more than one fake relationship based on little more than innocuous photos.

The first whisperings of romance based on nothing paired Nyong’o with Jared Leto, with whom she found herself in an awkward love triangle concerning Miley Cyrus. Imagine Nyong’o surprise when she was made aware of all this, having not actually been a part of it in reality.

Then yesterday, new rumors surfaced claiming that Nyong’o was linked to Michael Fassbender, based on anonymous sources and an Instagram selfie of the pair. As Liz pointed out, if that’s the criteria that we use to root out relationships, Nyong’o could just as easily be in a relationship with James Franco (I await that forthcoming theory).

And today, a new man has taken the place of Fassbender–according to Hollywood Life, Nyong’o was photographed with rapper K’naan, which means love is in the air.

The 36-year-old rapper looked very happy and comfortable with his arms wrapped around 31-year-old Lupita, as the pair went on Academy Awards press rounds, alternating who held the Oscar.

She also looked very cozy in her neon yellow top and chic navy coat, huddled in K’naan’s arms, her head nuzzled in his chest.

Well, two people were hugging and what not, so they’re probably boning. The above description doesn’t seem particularly sexual, given that it could easily apply to a mother and child or two affectionate friends. But the desire to pair off Nyong’o seems strong enough to defy things like logic or reality.

It seems useless to worry so much about Nyong’o sex life when there’s not much to substantiate rumors, and it speaks to a desire to see Nyong’o paired off. There is something threatening about a woman of remarkable intellect, achievement, and success who doesn’t have a man by her side, and so tabloids will put one there. It’s a lot easier to write about her sex life than it is to think critically, and Nyong’o’s It Girl status lacks that narrative of a highly publicized romance.

If I’m wrong and Nyong’o is dating every man she’s photographed along side, I suggest that you find her and photobomb her immediately. Think of the story you’ll be able to tell your grandkids someday, about how Grandpa crept up behind Grandma during a photo, and then the whole world declared them a couple. It’s the greatest love story of all time.

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images