It’s official. There is a class for everything. Including the world’s oldest and most favorite pastime: maturbation. Elon University, located in North Carolina of all places (because who doesn’t think of the American south when considering an ol’ choke the chicken session?) is now offering their student body (get it? get it? HAR) a course in “self-pleasure,” or as Joanna called it “Jerking Off 101.” If you’ve ever wondered why there isn’t a class to help you perfect your “ionizing the taco” skills, well now you’re in luck.

An Elon-related Twitter account OnlyAtElon posted a screenshot of the self pleasure course information earlier this week, and it’s truly fascinating.

Elon University (Elon) in Elon, North Carolina, is offering students a course aimed at teaching them how better to masturbate.

self pleasure course


As you can see from the picture above, the course description says that the class will cover “sexual health in new and exciting ways that students may not have encountered before.” Because who doesn’t want to learn more about the art of choking the bishop, aka waxing the dolphin, aka taking your talents to South Beach (okay, I’ll stop). In case you can’t see, the rest reads:

“The first week will discuss self-pleasure for both males and females. The second week will discuss sex toys and the creativity both in terms of self-pleasure and sexual activity with a partner. The third week will focus on communication when discussing sexually related themes!.”

Honestly, all kidding aside, I think this is a great idea. We might see a lot more skin than we used to on TV and in movies, but the truth of the matter is, the US is still very puritanical. The Motion Picture Association of America would rather American audiences see a dude’s head ripped off than an accurate depiction of sexuality. Films have been censored for the number of times that an actress moans during a sex scene. This atmosphere is simply not conducive to a healthy relationship with one’s sexuality.

Will classes like this actually make a difference? Only time will tell, but in my opinion yes. I think it’s too bad that they can’t have these classes in high school or even middle school (well, maybe not the sex toys part). When I was coming up, the only thing we had was staticy Skin-e-max porno on TV and the occasional random dirty magazine found under an overpass (or was that just me?). Teaching America’s youth about their bodies and sex can only be a good thing, if it’s done right.

But I wish I could be a fly on the wall for the first class.