If you ever feel like your male doctor is bored with your vagina, think again. His expression of clinical detachment is but a smokescreen for all the disgusting things he is thinking as he gives you what is probably an unnecessary pelvic exam. Disgusting sex things.

At least, according to one icky blog comment that my friend Marie Calloway (whose Facebook feed really should be a monetized blog of its own) has un-earthed from the loamy bowels of the internet. In it, we hear from a man purporting to be a doctor, who not only ogles patients himself, but believes this to be a commonplace practice which causes countless women to be given unnecessary pelvic exams each year!

He begins:

I am a doctor myself, in a smallish town in the midwest. I’m in a specialty where we do not do pelvic exams, but of course I was trained in how to do them while in medical school. It has always bothered me, for a couple of reasons, but the male/female thing has been the main thing originally. I always got a small, secret thrill out of doing a pelvic exam (or a breast exam, for that matter) on an attractive woman. Because we were told that “it’s not sexual,” “it’s just a medical procedure, nothing sexual about it, no reason to have sexual thoughts,” I though I was weird. I didn’t worry that much because I knew I wasn’t going into an area where I would do exams, but…

It would be easy enough to write this guy’s “small, secret thrill” off as something that is solely his problem. But he says he’s not the only one:

Then, during residency, I worked with a lot of doctors in the community, and discovered that, for most of them, it WAS at least partly sexual: they would sit around in the lounges and such and sometimes discuss the anatomy of beautiful women who’d been in, and on two occasions discussed, in front me and everyone else, the sexual anatomy attributes of women who worked in the hospital, nurses and such that were mutual acquaintances. I was horrified! I have to say, too, that many doctors, when I asked (because it bothered me), talked about it like, “Oh, it’s just another test to have to do, kind of boring, really.”

Fact: all male doctors get a thrill out of touching you down there, he’s just the only one who is honest about it. He continues:

Still, the inescapable fact is that a guy likes to look at a naked woman. Period. Doctors are no different. They like to look at naked women, too. So, if they get PAID to look–I mean, really LOOK–at a woman’s sexual organs, and even better, they get to touch them, well… So much the better! I’m not saying that doctors do exams just to get a sexual thrill, because the circumstances really don’t allow a full-out sexual experience, but given a choice between doing a lung exam on an 80-year-old guy or a pelvic exam on an attractive 30-year-old woman, I’d say most docs would MUCH rather do the latter. They’re only human. They would flatly deny having any such thoughts (in most cases), but deep down, they ARE men, after all.

And how does this rampant secret ogling affect the quality of the care we are given?

So, I think sometimes part of what prompts docs to urge women to have more testing is, that secretly they kind of like doing it. The money doesn’t hurt (i.e., they get paid to do it). In terms of pap smears being unnecessary for post-hysterectomy women, they also probably often just don’t know–there are several things in my specialty which GPs do wrong, all the time, even though they should know better. The ACOG recommends that even without doing pap smears, women have pelvic exams regularly, to screen for various cancers that are of very little risk. I’m sure part of that is just the “hyperscreening” that we’ve gotten sucked into, part of it is the money, and part is the male domination of women (gives you a great chance to stand there, fully clothed, with a woman who is naked and in a vulnerable position), and the chance to look at and touch naked women.

The thought that my doctor is holding my birth control pills hostage to get me to pay for unnecessary pap smears is annoying enough without thinking he or she (I like to play the field) is also getting his or her rocks off. But is any of this true? Because I hang out exclusively with degenerates, I don’t know any doctors besides the ones I go to, and I would feel supes awkward asking them, so feel free to chime in if you “are” someone with experience in this matter.

Of course, we have no way of verifying that this person is even a doctor (or a man), and I have half a mind it was left on the original blogcritics.com post by the site “for women’s eyes only” for the sheer purpose of using it in their crusade against the tyranny of women’s health exams. But just in case, I think I might stick to female doctors from now on. It’s enough that they are violating my wallet without violating my human dignity, too.

(Via Marie Calloway/blogcritics.org)

Photo: Wikipedia