Malik Turner is back! The Harlem man–whose name is pronounced Mo-lek–first drew attention two years ago when he posted personal ads all over New York City and, by personal ads, we mean abstract glimpses into one man’s particular madness. The latest is above, with his demands laid out is his signature not-really-linear fashion: she must be very promiscuous, love the color red, into threesomes (only 2 ladies/1 guy, though), love to wear brown-shaded thigh-highs, Canadian women allowed and Pornstars R Welcomed!

Here’s one of his old gems, if you didn’t believe Malik’s been searching for a long time. The heart wants it wants, guys.