Every year, the Literary Review chooses the year’s winner of the Bad Sex in Fiction Award, which rewards painfully bad sex writing. This year’s ‘winner’ is Rowan Somerville, in a scene from his novel The Shape of Her. Some snippets:

She released his hair from her fingers and twisted onto her belly like a fish flipping itself.

Like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect with a too blunt pin he screwed himself into her.

[Her ladybits were] “upturned like the nose of the loveliest nocturnal animal, sniffing the night.”

Apologies for doing this to everyone before noon.