breaking up via textI feel like everything I’ve written about today has been somewhat depressing. I’m sorry! I don’t mean to torture you with the realities of the human race being all pure evil and shit! I kid. Not all of us are pure evil; just a lot of us.

Since evilness does exist in the world, it should be noted that it sometimes comes in the form of a text message; a break-up text message to be exact.

Have you ever been broken up with via text? I’ve heard of these things happening, but it’s always to some cousin of some brother of that guy who owned that store that burned down in 2003… remember him? No, I don’t remember him. Yet it’s from those long trails that such stories come, or rather they did, once upon a time; but no longer.

IT’S GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU.

According to some dating site, WhatsYourPrice.com, where “attractive” singles can buy and sell dates (yeah, I don’t get it either), text break-ups are becoming far more common than you’d imagine. This makes me sad; this should make us all sad (even us evil ones.)

Of the 15,800 members (7,500 which are dudes) surveyed about their their break-up habits, it was found that 88% of men had dumped someone via text. EIGHTY-EIGHT PERCENT. I’m no math genius, but that’s only 12% away from 100%, and while 7,500 guys may not be much, it’s definitely more than the 448 participants of the other survey I shoved down your throat today. Only 18% of women, on the other hand, resorted to the coward’s way out of texting to say adieu, because, at 72%, the ladies prefer to do the heart-breaking face to face. We just love to watch the misery crawl across your faces! (Or we’re far more decent and caring? You decide.)

Sure, we live in a world of technology, but is nothing sacred? Et tu, Brute? Is it so difficult to show the person with whom you used to have carnal dealings, or maybe even once loved, a bit of respect? Apparently, not.

And I think this concludes our week of grumbling about how people can truly suck sometimes. Here’s hoping you don’t get dumped by text this weekend, loves!

Photo: ABC