Taylor Swift will never ever ever be dating Michael J. Fox's son, Sam. Ever.

Taylor Swift will never ever ever be dating Michael J. Fox’s son, Sam. Ever.

Now that Taylor Swift is single, she’s on the prowl! Where she’ll strike next is anyone’s guess, so moms and dads of the world, gird your sons’ loins and lock the door if Swift comes a-knocking. Gird them!

In case you missed it during the Golden Globes, Amy Poehler and Tina Fey joked about Swift being single and how she should stay away from Michael J. Fox‘s son, Sam. It makes sense since if you’re a celebrity or a son of a celebrity, Swift will swoop in, date you, and when the relationship comes to an end write a song about it. How many other guys can she sing “we’re never ever ever getting back together,” about, before it gets old? Oh, wait. Is it already old?

All joking aside, Fox wasn’t amused at the suggestion of any sort of union between his son and Swift, telling Vulture:

“No. No … Just back off. I don’t keep up with it all, but Taylor Swift writes songs about everybody she goes out with, right? What a way to build a career.”

Ha! Actually it’s more like, “Hahahaha!” You’re toast, Taylor! Not even sweet guys in vests like Alex P. Keaton and Marty McFly want you near their sons. I’m just picturing Marty freaking out, face-palming it and saying “Doc, I told him to stay away from her,” after yet another “you fucked me over and I hate you” song by Swift hits the radio following the demise of any sort of Sam and Taylor union. Marty always did get stressed out rather easily.

As one who writes confessionally about those who have broken my heart, I have to say I can understand where Swift is coming from in her song lyrics. However, it’s just one song after another about a guy she’s dated, and it’s done in this really scathing way most of the time. Whereas, in comparison, Adele, who wrote an entire album about a lost love, has lyrics like “I wish nothing but the best for you.” We call this high road; we also call this one album, one guy and not everyone who’s ever pissed her off.

On the revenge scale, I get it, Taylor; but honestly, I wouldn’t want my kid dating you, too. I also wouldn’t want my kid to date a writer either. Let’s just say all artists who create based on their heartbreak are people to avoid. Unless, of course, you like being a muse for a tortured soul, then by all means, go for it — even if Dad doesn’t approve.


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