Hypothetically you were married to somebody who abused you and you were about to get a divorce. Now imagine that person is Mike Tyson. Somebody else comes along–a fellow who is not abusive–and wants to have sex with you. Now imagine that person is Brad Pitt. This is the dilemma that apparently befell Robin Givens years ago.

According to Tyson in an interview with Yahoo! Sports, he would come to Givens’ house during the divorce proceedings, but got a surprise one day:

“I was getting a divorce. I was going to my lawyer’s office to divorce her that day but I wanted to sneak in a quickie. This particular day, someone beat me to the punch. I guess Brad got there earlier than I did. I was mad as hell. You should’ve saw his face when he saw me.

“I hope Brad doesn’t think I’m mad at him… I’m not mad at this guy, no way.”

Listen, Mike, when your relationship with the woman in question was publicly marred with violence, you should probably not talk about how you were “mad as hell” and act as though Brad Pitt should be happy you’re not threatening him over something that may or may not have happened in 1988. This was a year before my birth, by the way, so for me to have held a grudge this long would translate to being sore over something that occurred in utero.

Also, discussing “sneaking in a quickie” about your ex-wife is gross. Don’t do that. I get that 1988 didn’t have Instagram and you couldn’t just let everyone know who and how you banged via faux-lomo’d pictures, but that doesn’t mean you need to discuss it with a news source now.

Givens once advised any woman in a similar situation to her marriage with Tyson to have “zero tolerance. I don’t care if you read his BlackBerry, I don’t care if you yell too loud, I don’t care if you have a big mouth. There’s never any reason for a man to hit you.” I’m sure if she could, she’d also add “…and always have sex with Brad Pitt whenever possible.”

Photo: Ivan Nikolov/WENN.com