We all know by now that Kim Kardashian’s weird, poorly executed sham marriage was just that — a sham (you can’t put one over on me!!). I feel a little bit sad for her, not because her sham marriage ended shammily, but because we now have concrete proof that her mother has completely and totally brainwashed her into being nothing more than a product. Every single experience in her life that should have sentimental value is now created and developed just so it can be aired on television.

In other words, Kim Kardashian might look like a person, but underneath all that make-up and hair, her soul has been sucked by the same death eaters that got to Courtney Stodden, and she’s now just a sad, empty shell of the vibrant gal she once was. [tagbox tag=”Kim Kardashian”]

But that doesn’t mean that there’s nothing for us humans to learn from her “marriage”! According to TMZ, one of the “reasons” that the Kim-bot filed for divorce is that Kris Humphries — who coldheartedly fed on Kim’s bank account for the past eleven months — ultimately wanted to move to his home state of Minnestoa and experience something akin to a life that allows for real feelings.

That, of course, is something Kim wanted to avoid at all costs, mostly because she is no longer capable of feeling feelings, and wants to remain in Los Angeles, where no one (trust me) would really notice her digital insides unless they went looking.

And so the lesson is: talk about where you want to live before you get married.

The end!