size mattersSo here’s the deal ladies: you like big cocks. You do! You may say that size doesn’t matter, but you’re a liar. Science has recently discovered that despite the old standard of “it’s not about the size, it’s about how he uses it,” you really don’t mean a word of it. Sorry.

As recently reported in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Science, head researcher, Brian Mautaz, took 105 Australian women to see how they rated males when it comes to attractiveness. Asked to look at life-size video clips of naked dudes who varied in shape, height and flaccid penis size while disregarding their faces, the women were asked to rate the men on a scale from 1 to 7 on “total sexual attractiveness, rather than assessing individual characteristics.”

Their findings? “We show that penis size actually is important on some level and, importantly, it interacts with other traits,” explained Mautaz. And as we’ve said before, science doesn’t not lie.

It was also found that the size of a dick not only had a strong influence on attractiveness, but once you threw that large member on a tall man, this was even more appealing to the ladies who participated in the study. It also translates to height being just as important to women as penis size, but yet shorter men who were lucky enough to have a fairly good size cock, were then ranked higher than those with small penises, although they still lost in the attractive game when it came to those tall, well-endowed gentlemen. This is sad, because it actually fulfills the stereotype that women really do what tall dudes with big dicks. I’m sorry small dudes with little to average penises.

And while all of this may come off as pretty superficial, it’s suggested that the inherent need to keep the species going could be to blame. Just as men tend to see hips as a way to prove fertility, a woman’s longing for a penis that is on the larger size, or at least above average, could be steeped in the same reasoning within our brains — subconsciously so.

However, there is hope for those who aren’t exactly living up to the “down there” size, because body shape, once that part of the study was revealed to the women, became more important than height and large family jewels:

Based on the women’s answers, the researcher calculated that height was as important as endowment in a male’s attractiveness, while wider shoulders and narrow hips was more important than both combined.

So there you go, ladies. You don’t want what you think you want. You want something that looks like it’s been sculpted into pure perfection. And apparently, I’m not attracted to Zach Galifianakis after all, and I really want Ryan Gosling just like everyone else. I’m confused by this news, but I guess I’ll have to deal — and so will you.

There’s nothing worse than starting a weekend knowing that everything you thought was true is not. So, reach for the wine right now — it will soothe your pain.

Via Time/Photo: Wikipedia