Colin and his American Girls

We’re all getting sluttier and lonelier, according to science.

Researchers at UCL surveyed 15,000 adults and were able to conclude that people are having sex with more partners, less often. In 1990, the average woman had 3.7 opposite-sex partners in her lifetime and the average man had 8.6. Nowadays, ladies are hooking up with 7.7 dudes and guys are doing the deed with 11.7 dolls. They’re also spreading out their rendez-vous over the course of several years, I guess, because the average person has sex just thrice a month– compared to 5 times a month in the ’90s.

Was the sexual tension between Ross and Rachel so intense that it sent couples into the bedroom every Thursday at 9pm? And we just haven’t found a decent replacement for the modern day? Nah, unfortunately, several experts are blaming 2013’s less-frequent sex romps on technology. According to Professor Kaye Wellings of the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine,

Work comes into our home now and there is no strict divide. People are taking laptops and iPads to bed. People are working very, very hard. They are very busy.

You hear that? Your relationship is failing because you’re too busy to get busy.

People are also reportedly having younger and queerer sex. The mean age at which people “lose their virginity,” whatever that patriarchal social construct means, is now around 16 for both men and women. Also, 7% of men and 16% of women report having had some kind of same-sex contact in their lifetimes, compared to a respective 6% and 4% in 1990.

Professor Wellings believes these statistics are reflective of a positive cultural shift:

We need to set these changes in the context of the radical changes in women’s status over the past decade. With respect to women, the greatest changes really began in the last century, with the changing women’s roles in society, education, being in the workplace more and being able to control their fertility.

Cool! I’m a big fan of any study that suggests that our feminist efforts are making some kind of difference. I couldn’t care less about who wants to have sex with who, and how often, behind closed doors (as long as they’re all consenting adults), but it’s good to hear that women are feeling more free to make choices about their own bodies. So pencil in your bimonthy sexcapade, ladies, because the times they are a-changin’.

Via DailyMail / Photo: Universal Pictures