THE RESULTS ARE IN! After much deliberation, PeTA’s panel of sexiness experts has crowned a male and female winner of their ‘Sexiest Vegan Next Door’ contest. And they are…
Yerika Sojo, a multitalented model/photographer/makeup artist/dental assistant substance abuse counselor living in Illinois but born in Puerto Rico (no, I am not making any of this up), and John Halloran, a fire fighter from Rhode Island. Gaze upon their outer beauty, which is one hundred percent derived from the beauty that resides in their souls! (At least according to concepts derived from 19th century romanticism!)
John, the chiseled and married fire fighter, says he is a vegan mainly for health reasons (although he does namecheck the concept of compassion), while Yerika, whose relationship status is not revealed, seems to be a vegan mainly because being nice to animals turns her on. Hey man, whatever works. In PeTA’s press release, the sexy senorita (did we mention she is a SPICY LATINA?) elaborates on how she chooses her sexual partners:
What does this sultry and compassionate woman, who tries to visit Puerto Rico every year to see her mother and other relatives, look for in a man? “A gentleman, and in my book that means a guy who respects all sentient beings. By doing that, he respects himself, too. To me, that is hot!”
Do you hear that, fellas? If you go vegan, this all-around perfect and kind bikini babe will be at least 10% more likely to date you. Go vegan today! Ay, mamacita!
In actuality, it’s not really that uncommon for a person to want to date people with similar concepts of morality to his or her own. (I, myself, have never had a good romantic relationship with someone who thinks it’s 100% okay to eat animals, because I believe very strongly that it’s not.) But even I have to admit PeTA’s whole “sexy vegans selling sex (and vegetables)” schtick is getting (remaining?) just a little bit silly. This goes without saying, but “because my dick told me to” is kind of a shaky reason for someone to go vegan. That said, it might be a sign of progress that PeTA included bios of the sexy people, instead of just posting photos of them for us to ogle, and that they included both a man and a woman, although only the man is wearing clothes.
And while I do think the emphasis on a hott woman’s ethnicity can be creepy, I guess it’s good to show that not all vegans are privileged white hippies from California? I’d say PeTA’s next campaign should focus on the many different types of people who believe in animal rights, but they’d probably find a way to make that horribly offensive.
Photos: Courtesy of PeTA