Of course the big question tonight, as we near the eleventh hour of royal-wedding-related shenanigans is, ARE YOU WATCHING?!

Because I fucking am. I have set my DVR to record from 1 a.m. to 6 a.m. (I’m not getting or staying up to watch, though, don’t be crazy.) But I’m not missing a goddamn second of it. Not a second. I want to see all the dresses, all the hair, all the people crying all their tears, all the snacks, all the cakes, and all the centerpieces.

And I don’t really know why. I’ve never cared about the royals before, and I probably never will again. But who doesn’t love a good wedding? (And a good, respectable reason to watch TV for five straight hours?)

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