It’s a moment that inspires dread in both teen and parent alike — the moment that the parent closes the door to the teen’s bedroom and gently but nervously says, “[your name], it’s time we talked about a few things.”

That’s at least how I’ve seen these kinds of conversations go down on TV, because I don’t know about you, but I don’t have any first-hand experience in being on the receiving end of “the talk.” My mother once told me in the heat of a pre-adolescent argument that twelve was too young to have sex, and that was about the end of it. Surprisingly enough, I’ve remained relatively abortion and STD-free, and generally I feel good about the way that sex has turned out for me.

At the same time, I’m always a little curious about whether I’m in the majority or the minority in not having received any semblance of a birds and bees lecture. So:

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