Since it is Labor Day, there’s a good chance you are eating pie or ice cream or whatever people eat on Labor Day. Possibly you’re eating with someone you love or are “hanging out” with. So I wanted to share this important exchange between me and a dude friend.
Him: Deal-breaker or no: guy who tries to take some of your dessert?
Me: I’d stab his hand with a fork.
Me: But that’s just me! A sane person with taste-buds.
Him: What if he realllly wanted a bite?
Me: If he fights for it in the plate arena and can evade the fork stabbing, he has earned it.
Him: [My girlfriend] has problems sharing dessert, too. Suggestions for me to cope?
Me: ORDER YOUR OWN.
But there might be some of you out there who actually ENJOY sharing your food! You people will never survive the apocalypse. You’ll just let people eat all the food off your plate. But that’s fine. That’s fine. You are entitled to make choices. If you are one of those people – the sharing people – perhaps you could even offer my dude friend some advice.