Last week, we discussed whether we would rather date a finance bro or a musician. This week, we take it to the next level and contemplate – movie star or prince?

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Jen: Obviously it would be better to date a prince. Unlike dating, say, George Clooney, being a princess means you actually have a job.

Frances: Yes. A terrible job. A job where you have to walk through landmines, forever. Princess duties aren’t fun. It’s like a long march of charity events unil you die.

Jen: That’s called helping people. That’s a pretty privileged position to be in. You can raise huge awareness for your favorite causes.

Frances: Dating George Clooney just means going to fun premieres and hanging out with other movie stars. And you’ll get to meet royalty, because celebrities are the new royalty.

Jen: They’re royalty until their career fades. And the fall will be awful.

Frances: George Clooney will never not be a movie star.

Jen: George Clooney will also never marry you. And when you break-up you will go back to being “that cocktail waitress who used to date George Clooney.”

Frances: That wouldn’t happen. You’d make connections. Dating George Clooney could make you a movie star, which would be more fun than being a princess.

Jen: You won’t get to be a movie star. No one will even remember your name after the relationship is over. There’s a good chance that no one will remember your name in the relationship because you aren’t important. Not compared to him. Being a princess automatically makes you almost equally important to him. Being with a movie star does nothing for you.

Frances: The pressure of that would be completely awful. You’d suddenly be photographed all the time. Sometimes I think about how awful it must be for Kate Middleton that she’s never going to be allowed to be crabby with anyone ever again, because it will be some sort of huge scandal if a taxi driver calls the tabloid and says “Kate Middleton snapped at me.” Dating a movie star means you get all the perks of a celebrity lifestyle and none of the downsides.

Jen: But you also get no respect.

Frances: It will be fun hanging out with Kate Middleton on Clooney’s yacht and watching how tense and stressed out she is. Think I’ll have another martini! Because that’s what dating movies stars means.

Jen: Will Aretha Franklin be playing in the background?

Franes: No, because she’ll be on the boat.