town and country prince harry

Prince Harry is on the cover of Town & Country. Town & Country is probably my favorite magazine, because it once contained a line which read something to the effect of, “when I travel to Paris, I prefer people ask me the neighborhood I’ll be staying in rather than the hotel. The latter always seems to beg the response “The Ritz, I know of no other location.”

I want to live inside Town & Country, I really do.

I also take comfort knowing that someone will be ahead of me in the tumbrils.

I assume Prince Harry is the world’s most eligible bachelor, but, more and more, I’m just not feeling it. Not that I have anything against Prince Harry, I mean, he seems fine. But he does seem like that rough-and-tumble specimen of British masculinity whose idea of a good first date is getting drunk, playing darts and having sex, probably in a bathroom. I don’t really go in for that. I mean, I don’t think there’s really ever a circumstance where I’d want to have sex in a bathroom, or, for that matter, play darts. Maybe I would want to play darts if there was a large cash prize and every single other player was legally blind, but I don’t think that’s about liking darts. I think that’s more about liking money.

So, I think since Harry does not really seem like he would be into, I don’t know, drinking in pleasant hotel bars and having sex in bed after a reasonable amount of time, our relationship is pretty doomed.

Honestly, I don’t think anyone who reads Town & Country would enjoy darts. I will amend my earlier statement to say that I would be enthusiastic about the prospect of darts only if meant playing against the legally blind or against avid readers of Town & Country.

But! Prince Harry. Probably the world’s most eligible bachelor. I would prefer that, oh, I don’t know, A David Niven type were the world’s most eligible bachelor, but that is probably  evidence that I have to go back to work on my time machine. Everything is always evidence that I have to work harder on the time machine. But surely someone can top Prince Harry? Your turn, go, who?

I’ve got nothing on this, incidentally. I’m going to go work on my dart game.

Picture via Town and Country, via @emilydecampo