faaaake

If there’s any doubt left in your mind that people are taking this whole “let’s get engaged in a really obnoxious public ceremony” thing too far, here’s one that officially crosses the line.

Instead of just trying to turn an intimate moment into a spectacle that his bride could talk about at parties for the rest of her godforsaken life, this guy actually sold their proposal as an advertisement. For a stupid app. He sold their engagement as an ad for an app. Is there any sentence more 2013 than that one?

In a video tackily titled “Congratulations Cassie and Shawn! A dots marriage proposal,” our hero writes to the creators of Dots, which I guess is a game that his lady plays a lot on her iPad (in public, while a camera crew watches), and asks them to create a custom screen in the game that will ask Cassie to enter into a legally binding agreement for as long as she lives.

so fake

I’m willing to suspend my disbelief long enough to concede that, yes, maybe he really wrote that email, and that yes, maybe Cassie would find the whole gesture romantic. Okay. But I can’t pretend that there’s anything normal about standing casually on a street corner, with your hair and makeup done, and being surprised when the game you’re playing in front of an audience of cameramen has some kind of significance. This is the least real video I’ve seen in a long time– and the lamest attempt at viral marketing ever.

I’m not trying to be that annoying old person who thinks Twitter and Facebook are ruining intimacy, and I’m not saying that public proposals are always cheap or disingenuous. I’m mostly just irritated that the creators of a pass-the-time iPad game think we’re emotionally vulnerable enough to find this video cute. It’s not cute, right?

the fakest

Either way, if Shawn and Cassie are a real couple and they’re really getting married, then congrats. I hope your marriage is long and happy and less eye-rolly than this video.

Via The Cut