kim kardashianNow that Kim Kardashian is in the love for the millionth time, she has decided it is absolutely, positively her place to dispense love advice. Because that’s what people do when they’re in love. It’s like women who have babies and all of a sudden have this deeper understanding of the world now that they’re mothers… yadda yadda yadda… we can’t hear you with our fingers in our ears.

When you’re married to a man for 72 days and, the world is quite certain is was all an elaborate show to try to make yourself seem relevant in to existence (and richer!), it’s hard for anyone to take what that person has to offer in regards to love very seriously.

Let’s look at some of the winning bits of advice Kardashian has been spewing lately, and interpret them for what she really means to say.

To Glamour: “I think I’ll always be a hopeless romantic. … It means that I believe in love and the dream of having a perfect relationship, but my idea of it has changed. I think I need to not live in a fairy tale like that. I think I maybe need to just snap out of it and be a little more realistic.”

Analysis: In this quote, we can see that Kardashian is just as delusional as we thought. “Perfect relationships” don’t exist, and her mention of a fairy tale actually translates to her wanting to be princess for a day YET AGAIN in another lavish wedding that will be on E! for some exorbitant about of money that should be going to feeding and clothing those less fortunate than us.

To Harper’s Bazaar: “I used to be so dependent on the guys I was in a relationship with. I don’t know why, because I wasn’t raised that way. If I looked at myself at 19, I would shake myself and be like, Wake up; you are way too smart for this.”

Analysis: Kardashian has banged her head and has forgotten who her mother is and the truth behind how she was raised. Also, “smart?” Yeah, I’m not going there; although she definitely knows how to pull the wool over her fans’ eyes. So, yeah, she is kind of smart.

To People Magazine: “I believe in love, always.”

Analysis: Love is just another thing to exploit and from which to make money. Kardashian really needs to look up the meaning of love stat. I’m pretty sure there are no dollar signs about it — I don’t think. In fact, I’ve never looked it up, so I can’t say for sure.

On Kanye West to OWN: “It’s very comforting to have someone that knows everything about you, that respects you, understands, has gone through the similar things.”

Analysis: She’s joking, right? Not only did he revamp her whole wardrobe, but it was rumored that he didn’t want her to attend Paris Fashion Week with him. If that’s respect, then, well, I just don’t know anymore. I give up. Seriously, I totally give up.

As someone who does believe in love (sometimes), I feel like the woman is just mocking all of it, and this makes me sad. Although I do enjoy a giggle at her expense, mostly I’m sad that she thinks of love as a money making machine. Not cool, Kim, not cool at all.

Would you take love or relationship advice from Kim Kardashian?

Photo: JP/JFXimages/