wicked step-motherI’m going to be a stepmom. I know, I know. I, too, fear for the children over which I shall cast my evilness. It’s a pure, and very dark evil. It’s the type of shit you see in really bad horror movies where the blood is far too red.

I kid! Now that I’m truly in love, I’m full of love! Lots of love!

In case you missed it, I’m, much to the shock of a lot of people around me, engaged, and will be getting hitched to a very lovely, handsome, darling, sweet French dude named Olivier next spring. With a little over a decade on me in age, Olivier already has one marriage under his belt, and two wee daughters as a result. They’re cute; I like them, and stuff.

Although being a stepmom was never in my game plan, and I am, admittedly, terrified by this situation, it’s something that I really can’t avoid. I could not marry Oliver because of his monkeys, but that’s not what grown-ups do. And I’m a grown-up now, or have been for a couple months or so.

So, in an effort to make myself the greatest stepmom in the history of the world, I’m currently in research mode. What am I doing to procure the title of “greatest?” Well, a little of this and a little of that. I’m not one to pick up guidebooks for anything, so this is how I’m getting myself in gear for this task on my own.

Photo: Disney