I was as excited as you were to see if Rihanna was having a lesbians-for-attention relashe with Kim Kardashian, but alas, it’s nothing as hot as that. She’s dating the boy one. The one with a penis. Was that too easy? I’m sorry.

Rob Kardashian, lover of socks and hater of waitresses who don’t recognize him, has somehow managed to worm his famewhoring way into the still healing heart of the sexiest woman in the world. We know this because the two were photographed go-karting together, after which Rob’s mom took them to Baskin-Robbins for some kiddie cones. Just kidding, they probably went home and had awkward but intense rebound sex. Because Rihanna is still on the rebound.

As glad as I am that she’s not getting back with Chris Brown, this seems like the kind of thing you do because you’re not yet over your last relationship and you just want to fuck someone you can’t see yourself dating in a million years so as to numb the pain for a minute. Someone gross. Someone you won’t introduce to your friends. Someone like Rob Kardashian. There are many different names for this, but my friends and I call it “visiting the junkyard.” While it can be a necessary step in the getting-over-someone process, you generally want to visit the junkyard in private, away from prying eyes, and you definitely shouldn’t choose a junkyard intent on profiting off his association with you. (Perhaps celebrities like Rihanna should draw up some sort of junkyard contract.)

That said, I’m pretty impressed with Rihanna’s ability to look lovely even as she flips off the cameras. And before you accuse me of bodysnarking, know that I find Rob gross only in the way I find all Kardashians gross, a way that has little to do with looks.

(Via The Daily Mail)

Photo: Pacific Coast News