Liberals, rejoice! In addition to having his economic policies more or less discredited by history, it would appear Ronald Reagan has now had other, more, shall we say, intimate policies of his discredited as well. In her new memoir, Learning To Live Out Loud, actress Piper Laurie talks about how our former President’s selfish attitude extended far beyond impoverished humans, to the underprivileged clitorises of his female partners.[tagbox tag=”sex”]

According to the book, a then 18-year-old Laurie first met the famous 39-year-old actor on the set of the 1950 drama Louisa (pictured), in which he played her father (ew). He asked the virginal young girl’s mother for permission to take her “out on a date,” then subjected her to what sounds like pretty much the worst sex ever.

Via The Daily Mail:

In ‘Learning to Live Out Loud’ she writes that to begin with Reagan was the perfect gentleman and asked her mother for permission to take her out on a date.

But instead of doing so he took her to his home where he made hamburgers for them both.

Things went downhill from there and when they moved into the bedroom where Reagan turned into a ‘show-off’ who had sex ‘without grace’.

Laurie, 79, writes: ‘He made sure I was aware of the length of time he had been “ardent”. It was 40 minutes.’

Laurie adds that when she complained she was not satisfied, she got rather short shrift indeed.

Reagan told her: ‘There’s something wrong with you. You should have had many orgasms by now – after all this time. You’ve got to see a doctor.’

Poor Piper Laurie! It would appear someone (or multiple someones) had lied gravely to Ronnie about how lady parts are operated, and gosh darnit if a mere lady was going to tell him any different. And that, my friends, is why you should never:

1.) Fake an orgasm.
2.) Fuck a Republican.
3.) Lose your virginity to Ronald Reagan.

God dammit, now I feel bad for Nancy, too. JUST SAY NO to sex that is awful, girls.

(Via The Daily Mail)