The other night, a friend and I were talking about a problem she is fairly lucky to have. Over the course of banging multiple attractive men, she’s been gifted with several boxes of condoms. This is not a problem in and of itself; while she has no issue with buying her own condoms, it shows these men care about safe sex and she’s not going to have to yell at them about it (an occurrence that’s disturbingly frequent, if the experiences of my friends and I are even close to representative). The question then becomes whether or not those condoms are hers to use with whomever she likes, or if she has to keep separate boxes of condoms in separate drawers for separate men, lest they notice a few missing and feel awkward about the sex she’s obviously having with other people.

On the one hand, these men are grownups. They know they’re having casual sex with her and she’s free to copulate with whomever else she likes. On the other, there’s a willing suspension of disbelief that occurs when you’re in the moment with someone. You know they’re probably banging other people, but it’s still awkward (and maybe not that sexy) to talk about, or even think about, the other dicks that are currently friends with her vagina. Communication is an important part of sex, and it’s important for both people to be on the same page re: what kind of sex it is: casual, emotional, relationship-building, etc. But once you’ve established that the sex is just for fun, you have zero obligations to talk about who else you’re fucking, so long as all the sex you’re having is safe, right? I mean, do you really want to know how many other women your fuck buddy is fucking? Do you even care? I didn’t think so.

In the end, I think it’s totally fine to keep each dude blissfully in the dark about exactly how many times you’ve had sex since the last time you had sex with him, provided you have enough drawers to accomodate all the boxes, and provided he doesn’t ask. Plus, different guys like different kinds of condoms, so there’s that. But maybe I’m being terrible! What do you think?