“Come to daddy!” – John Stamos, to a man who won a bid to kiss him.

“I’d love to show @TimTebow around town…we have so much in common. He’s ‘like a virgin’ and so am I ;)” – Madonna, promoting her new album and cougaring the fuck out on Tim Tebow.

“We don’t think they can withstand much more.” – A prostitute from Spain, who is taking part in an industry-wide boycott against bankers.