“I am not in porn to get into acting. I am in porn because I wanted to be in porn.” — Montana Fishbourne, on her decision to star in an adult video.

“Class in a glass and party in a body.” — The self-description of Deena Cortese, the newest cast member of “Jersey Shore.”

“Noooo! I can’t be gay! I’m a happily married Conservative just like Ted Haggert and Larry Craig!” — Steven Colbert, upon finding out that he must be the gay character on his own show. (No, it’s not sexy, but it’s really funny.)