Students at the University of Connecticut are upset over two cartoons that recently ran in the college paper. The first was a twist on the nursery school rhyme about girls being made of “sugar, spice and everything nice” and said girls were instead made of “crabs, scabs and everything viral.” The other depicted a woman hesitant about having sex, until her male partner throws a wedding ring into the bedroom, which she eagerly chases after.

These are the stupidest cartoons in the history of the world.

Just, wow, astonishingly stupid. At first I thought that maybe the art was going to be great, but no, no, these are just seriously the stupidest comics that have ever been featured anywhere. Stupider than Cathy. Stupider than Marmaduke. These are heroically stupid comics. Of course they offended people.

And the university is apparently revising their publishing policies so that a similar event won’t take place in the future.

But is that a good thing? Not censoring the press is one of the greatest things about living in a first world country. If college newspapers are supposed to replicate real life, grown-up newspapers, then, as long as writers are not swearing (I have never understood why “midget-fucker” is the last taboo, which is why I try to insert it into every article I write anywhere) then it’s really the editor’s call.

I don’t blame the writers for producing these stupid cartoons. I blame the editor, who should have been the pretend-18 year old grown up in this situation and explained to the writers why they’re idiots, hopefully while spewing pistachio and scotch spittle at them, just like a real editor.

Does the editor of the UConn paper seem like he really dropped the ball on his one? Yeah, he did. And he double-plus-fails because his defense of the cartoons isn’t something like “I wanted to run these cartoons because…. I think it’s a perfect example of disturbing misogynistic culture on campus and I wanted to get people discussing that/I’m a drunk, I was asleep at the OTB at the time of publication, bet all my money on Rosebud/I really hate women” (I had a hard time coming up with more than one justification) his defense is like, “yo, man, I’m not really into censorship.” And his name is John Kennedy.

Do you know where your only justification being “censorship ain’t cool!” gets you, John Kennedy? Not to the moon. It gets you sent to a workshop on violence against women and means that school officials start coming up with more stringent policies on what can and can’t be allowed in the newspaper. Which is stupid, because in real life, God doesn’t come down and tell Bill Keller “hey man, that article you wrote about Lady Gaga really offended people, so I’m going to put some new policies in place.” Being the editor of a school newspaper only seems good insofar as you actually get the responsibilities conferred on an editor. One of those responsibilities is determining what is or is not appropriate for your audience. Otherwise, it’s a useless and meaningless title. And yes, having no rationale for your decision is going to lead to a completely censored paper, dipshit.

In conlusion: John Kennedy, you midget-fucker, you fucked things up for every editor that comes after you. You are no profile in courage, sir.