Go ahead and touch yourself. Your boss doesn't need to know what you do in the bathroom.

Admit it! I know you’ve done it. You totally did it this morning right before that first meeting and later on after your client conference call. You did it because you were bored, you were stressed or maybe you just needed to get off. Haven’t we all masturbated at work?

Actually, this is one where I don’t get to raise my hand. Although I’ve been on the other end of a phone call where a fella was jerking off, or so he claimed, this is a particular activity in which I’ve never participated. I’m not against it (obviously), but I’ve never worked in an environment that allowed for such a thing to be performed very easily. I really don’t want to be mid-orgasm then hear my boss peeing in the stall next to me — that shit can fuck you up for life.

But I have friends, many friends, both male and female, who don’t think twice about skipping off to the loo for a little self-love action. If you hate your job, what else is there? Sometimes those chocolate brownies your co-worker brought it just aren’t cutting it and you need to take care of yourself.

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Photo: Mihály Zichy, 1911 copper engraving