Ever since I saw that ghastly (a very appropriate word choice a commenter used) movie Bachelorette, I can’t get it out of my head. It’s like when you decide at 4am to get food from a taco truck you’ve never tried before and you spend the next three days sick and asking yourself: “Why didn’t I just avoid it?!” It’s like that, but worse.

The one part I have been mulling over with a wee bit of glee is the discussion the characters have about Jordan Catalano and Brian Krakow from My So-Called Life. Even if you weren’t in junior high or high school when it originally aired, MTV picked it up a few years later. So unless you’re 10 or 12 right now, you should be well aware of the show and what it means when someone drops those two names.

In high school, my Jordan Catalano was a fella named Michael Collins, and similar to Angela Chase, although we’ll never know for sure because the show was cut short, I never got my Jordan. However, that hasn’t stopped me from looking for him in every guy I meet. Sure, Jordan could barely read, he was in a band with a lead singer that no one ever saw (Tino!), he writes songs about his damn car, he thinks Brian’s name is pronounced “Brain,” fucks Rayanne and he wants to be one of those guys “up in the mountain who make snow.” I don’t care how hot he is or how well he leans against a fucking locker, that shit should be over and done with by the time you reach 24. Once again, I did not get the memo.

Krakow, on the other handed, is completely devoted to Angela Chase. He throws anyone aside for her (not so great if you’re the someone else), saves her ass time and time again, is always hanging around which comes in handy when you’re spending 80% of your days trying to make Angela’s life easier, and in the one episode where he actually does the narration, you get a glimpse into his fragile heart and the huge effect that just the smell of Angela’s hair has on him. In high school, he didn’t have a chance in hell, but what about now? At what point do we realize that Jordan Catalano is on a train directly to nowhere… or more specifically Mars?

During a phone session with my therapist last night — she’s still on maternity leave — this topic came up. And despite my rocky past with relationships, recently learning about the flasher and the new knowledge that my first love was arrested for drugs on his way to Chattanooga two weeks ago, it’s clear that I’ve yet to shake the Catalanos from my life. I just love myself an adorable wounded bird.

Brian Krakow? Are you out there? Please make yourself visible, because I apparently have bad eye sight and will go for the first Catalano who stands between us. Anyone else feel the same, or has at least someone joined team Krakow by now?

Before we take our poll, let’s check out this clip as a reminder:

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Photo: ABC