There’s nothing more amusing than trying to predict when a doomed relationship will end, am I right, ladies? The friend who’s marriage we doubted from the get-go, the guy who falls for the gold digger, that one chick who’s always getting with dudes who treat her like dirt. It’s practically a spectator sport.

But sadly, there’s really no surefire way to know when someone else’s love affair is heading down the tubes, despite articles like this one claiming that it was clear for daaaaays that Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis, in this case, were headed for splitsville (and suddenly, I became a writer for People). That said, here are some tried and true signs that a romance is over: