Taylor Swift covers the April issue of Wonderland magazine

Human doily and relationship expert, Taylor Swift is still at large! Against all odds, she landed the cover of Wonderland Magazine’s Outspoken Issue (which hits newsstands today) serving up twee advice, making what the Daily Mail refers to as “her signature hand gesture”–a heart formed by her index fingers and thumbs. The Mail also refers to Swift as a “boy-crazy songstress,” a “classy crooner” and “arguably the most ladylike popstar working today” among other nicknames that made me do the hand gesture where you mime gagging.

I’m giving her a hard time because she’s insufferable, but the clothes are great in the Wonderland spread: preppy and fresh with bold primary colors and seasonal whites. Combined with T.Swift’s relentlessly twee affect, it’s a charming, albeit saccharine spread.

Swift looks so very adorable–styled in springy, dainty, mod-get ups and posing with props like inflatable giraffes–that I almost forgot just how profound she is. Luckily, select quotes from the hard-hitting interview reminded me. Seriously, even when she’s talking about emotional topics like the fragility of heartbreak and the precariousness of the future, it’s hard to buy that Swift has ever even experienced negative feelings. Girl could make a Disney princess sound like Sylvia Plath, so I’m matching three quotes from Taylor Swift’s Wonderland interview with three quotes from The Bell Jar.

1) On the hunt for a mate:

Relationships are like traffic lights…And I just have this theory that I can only exist in a relationship if it’s a green light.-Taylor Swift


“I would catch sight of some flawless man off in the distance, but as soon as he moved closer I immediately saw he wouldn’t do at all.-Sylvia Plath

2) On contrary and complex emotions:

You’re never feeling just sad. Maybe you wake up and you feel sad, and then you get angry, and then you feel like “I’m fine.’…And then you feel confident, and then you feel a sense of doubt, and then you’re insecure, and then there’s jealousy, and then you’re back to sad – and then you feel fine again. -Taylor Swift


If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I’m neurotic as hell. I’ll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days. -Sylvia Plath

3) On the future:

I have no idea if I’m going to get married or be single forever or have a family or just be on my own. You know, paint in a cottage by the ocean by myself. -Taylor Swift


Everything people did seemed so silly, because they only died in the end- Sylvia Plath

I just really want to see Taylor Swift’s paintings.

(via The Daily Mail)