In a move straight out of House Of 1,000 Corpses, lawmakers in Egypt’s parliament are trying to pass a measure that would allow a man to have sex with his wife’s dead body. Called the “farewell intercourse” law, it would permit the husband to make sweet love to his wife’s corpse up to six hours after her death. Only six? Better get crackin’!

According to Al Arabiya, the law is based on the teachings of people like Moroccan Islamic fundamentalist cleric Zamzami Abdul Bari, who hold that marriage remains valid even after death. A wife can have sex with her dead husband too, okay? Let’s all think about that for a second.

More worryingly for people who are currently alive, the law comes as part of a religiously justified assault on women’s rights, including a measure to lower the minimum age of marriage to 14 for girls, and another that would take away divorce rights from women. This kind of thing is obviously despicable, and makes me wish there was something I could do to help other than write about it in a blog.

See, people? Do you see what happens when you take ancient religious documents as literal prescriptions for what modern people should and should not be allowed to do with their genitals? The results are very, very…not good. (I was going to use a really gross adjective here, but I restrained myself. Golf claps?)

In conclusion, here are some old timey videos of people dancing, set to The Misfits‘ “Last Caress.”

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F39UP1mjAnc?version=3]

And here’s a bonus song!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqP7l00JudY?version=3]

UPDATE: So it came out today that this is probably a false rumor spread by a loyalist of recently toppled ruler Hosni Mubarak, who certainly has motivation to throw shade on the newly elected Parliament. Sorry, Egyptian necrophiliacs.

(Via Business Insider)