Stop! Stop spanking his butt with a spatula! I know conventional wisdom is “spatula spank his bottom like it is so many egg whites needed to make meringues” but you should stop.

God, that was disgusting. Well! Anyhow. Cosmo (print) discovered some things you should really stop doing in bed in their June issue. Would you like to know what they are? Here is what they are. Some of them, anyway. We sort of doubt you were doing them to begin with.

(Incidentally, this picture is what you get if you google “man being repulsed.” It’s of Heinrich Himler, or possibly Francisco Franco, either way, a monster and repulsive man, who just LOVED that spatula thing).