octopus

Oh, poor Senator Bill Kitner. He must go through life continually mystified. He recently gave an interview to the Lincoln Journal Star, in which he said:

Biggest mystery? Women. No one understands them. They don’t even understand themselves. Books and books and books have been written about it, and no one understands it.
Men are very easy to understand. Very basic, very simple.

Let us put aside the fact that he referred to women as a whole as “it.” Let us spend only a second wondering if Bill is relying only upon men, that most marvelous sex, to vote for him (because that is not the kind of statement women love). Let us think only that Bill Kitner must have a very difficult life, wandering through a world where half of the people are completely incomprehensible. He presumably stopped at some point in the interview to sing this song:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Doz5w2W-jAY?version=3]

I guess their heads are just full of cotton hay and rags. But wait!

Allow us to list a few things more mysterious than women. Namely:

The ocean
The human brain
Why bad things keep happening to good people
Black holes
Why lightbulbs come in such flimsy boxes
Time travel
The strange sexual allure of Rex Harrison (tweed?)
How there is no good way to get sand out of sheets short of washing them
Velco
Scientology’s continued popularity
Pluto
Death
Tumors (brain)
Tumors (any kind)
Religious history
Why people pretend sea monsters don’t exist
SERIOUSLY THE OCEAN

And, perhaps most important of all….

Why politicians keep saying dumb things to alienate women.

Picture via Getty