Earlier today, Jennifer regaled you with eight common break-up scenarios, including the much-touted Unicorns Rainbow Break-Up, and the all-too-common One Where You Both Become Horrible People.

But even if you find yourself in the latter, there are still some things you can do to get through the break-up with your dignity a little bit intact and your self-esteem redeemable through years of therapy. Here they are.

Don’t hang out with your ex for a while. Oh, I know it’s tempting, because they were your bestie, and because you’re nboth so mature that you can handle it, and also because in reality you’re so lonely that you want to stab yourself in the side of the face with a nail file and cry yourself to sleep, to wake, and all day also. But don’t do it. You need to forge the separation, you need to re-establish yourself without this person, and only after those things have been acheived will you know whether or not you can see them.

Distract yourself, but not too much. Break-ups are great opportunities to figure out who you are and what you want, by looking at what didn’t work in your relationship and caused it to die. So yes, you want to get out and do things so you’re not sitting at home watching “Bridget Jones” every night, but at the same time, don’t distract yourself form the pain so much that you don’t have the chance to learn from it.

Be careful whose advice you listen to. Yes, I realize that I’m telling you this even as I write advice for break-ups. But why should you listen to me? In fact, why should you listen to anyone but yourself? Your best friend from home wants you to burn all your pictures, your mom wants you to consider getting back together, your work buddies think it’s fine if you continue to sleep with him, and of course his friends think that you’re the devil. All of them are right and none of them are right. Only you know for sure.