The following is an actual email I got last night from a friend:

Amanda, apparently I am too quiet in bed and Frenchie feels like he’s incapable of giving me pleasure. Which isn’t the case. I’m just quiet, and try to let my body do the talking.

That said, I realize that men do need some kind of vocal affirmation.

Will you PLEASE send me some lines that you have used that have worked for you in the past ASAP?!

I’m not sure why C chose me out of her friends to send this to, but she did, so I responded honestly. I’m not a talker in bed, nor am I a screamer like out of a porn flick, but if something feels good, I say so. If something doesn’t feel good, I say that as well. As I’m about to orgasm and during orgasm, there is definitely some heavy breathing and moaning to a degree, but that just automatically comes with the territory of achieving such a phenomenal feeling. It’s not done for show, because as C pointed out, I, too, let my body do the talking. Any man who knows anything about how a woman’s body works, should probably be able to detect when she’s having an orgasm considering the rapid rate at which our inner muscles down there tighten and release, so I’m not sure why Frenchie is having an issue. He’s French! They created the French kiss! The dude should know what’s up!

Unlike C, I have never been questioned as to whether or not I’ve been enjoying myself during sex by my partner in the moment, nor was it brought up later. All I can assume is that he didn’t care (which is likely), or my lack of screaming or giving a play-by-play of what feels great, isn’t diminishing the confidence of whomever I happen to be fucking. But apparently that isn’t the case for everyone, and I will spend my afternoon on the phone with C, giving her pointers on how to “fix” this “issue,” although I’m sure there are far better people to do the mending required.


[b5poll id=”1e34468a24d3dd53fecbd7b0027cfed4″]