Over at Salon, there’s a great piece by writer Sharon Hewitt about waiting for her fiancé to decide between her and another woman.
Sounds crazy, yes? But to read Hewitt describe the reasons behind her decision to wait is to read something that is daring enough to explore the gray areas of relationships in a society that is hell-bent on black and white. (See: “He’s Just Not That Into You,” and any reality TV show on Bravo.)
She explains, cheesiness aside, that her decision to wait it out (for seven months and counting) is an act of love; giving someone she cares about the time and space they need to figure out what they want. Hewitt also describes why she decided not to give him an ultimatum:
If the man I love does come back, it will not be because I have threatened or manipulated him. His return will not be mere capitulation to the all-or-nothing terms I have set. It will come from a place of deep self-knowledge that he has found in his own time.
It’s a pretty ballsy stance to take; many of us, I think, would probably have caved to outside pressure to deliver an ultimatum or leave.
All of which makes me wonder: how do you feel about ultimatums?