us navy helps sailors pick up ladiesThe best part of my day is the NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams. Not only does this half hour allow me to get caught up on all the tragedies in the world, but I get to gaze at Brian while softly purring, “You will be mine. You will be mine.” Because he WILL.

A few days ago my future boyfriend, Brian, gave a bit of insight into just how hands-on the Navy used to be “back in the day” when it came to the love lives of their sailors. The insight that Brian shared the other night? Oh, just that the U.S. Navy was all gung-ho on helping to get their sailors to score with not just ladies, but brunettes specifically. (If there’s one for blondes, Brian didn’t mention it, and as I’m not an investigative journalist and it didn’t come up with my weak researching skills, I’m going to assume it doesn’t exist. I don’t care if “assume” makes an “ass out of you and me.”)

In 1965’s U.S. Navy’s training film, How To Succeed with Brunettes, sailors are taught how to win points, as well as handle possible sticky situations. Ladies are important missions, you guys!

Enforcing manners and gentlemanly behavior? Awesome. A brunette as a decoration? Meh; not my jam. Either way, it’s pretty entertaining (it is 1965!) even if I’m mildly peeved at some moments — I can order my own damn dinner! Or am I just misunderstanding chivalry?

Who knew the U.S. Navy had such a sense of humor? As you’ll also note, the narrator is the cat’s pajamas; whoever he is, I want to be his friend.

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Photo: YouTube