You’ve seen it too many times. You’ve cackled with your friends at brunch, whispering in between bites of your Eggs Benedict. You’ve mocked the person in question while haughtily sipping your mimosas. Hell, you’ve even been her. Lord knows, I’ve had my share of partaking.
I’m talking about the infamous Walk Of Shame. It’s always the same thing; overdressed girl wobbling in her stilettos, sipping a to-go coffee; God-willing she has her sunglasses on. She sees you, too, but she’s in no position to make eye contact until she changes, showers and puts on some lip gloss, for crying out loud. Listen, the shame has nothing to do with the sex part (as demonstrated by the ineffable Amber Rose), but it has everything to do with the overdressed, under-caffeinated part.
Here’s five things that can help you have a non-shameful walk because no one wants to walk home in heels and last night’s makeup at 10am.
These are essential. I can’t tell you how many times I’m über grateful I have these in my bag. They’re super cute, comfy and you won’t look like you were $2 short for the subway because you spent all you cash on that last round of Moscow Mules. These are my favorite brand as they come in so many colors and style variations, plus the cutest little pouch ever.
2) Invest in a convertible dress.
If you have drinks with that cute guy and one thing leads to another and you don’t go home because he lives in Queens and you’re in Brooklyn, and you want your friends to avoid calling you “Slutty McSlutstein” in an annoying but endearing kind of way, this is what you wear if you think you might go down that rabbit hole. You’re welcome.
3) Bring your makeup essentials.
My friend was seeing this cute guy named Justin and she created the “Justin Case” (cheesy, I know – but she had some great things in it) for this exact reason. Among the items I totally ran out and bought to throw in my bag “just in case I get lucky” are :
These are a mini God send the size of a Q-Tip. Each stick provides one dose of hypo- allergenic makeup-remover that will get rid of any morning after mascara smudges.
This stuff is MAGIC in a tin. Put it on your lips, on your elbows, on hickies (seriously). It heals and soothes anything – from rug burns (I mean, what?) to dry cuticles. Get some, girls, it’s $6!
Now, I know there’s a lot of “lip and cheek stain” sticks out there, and I like them – but I love good ‘ol Benetint and I’ll tell you why: you can mix it with the Rosebud Slave for a lipgloss with juuuuuust the right amount of color and you can put it on your cheeks for a rosy morning after glow. If you have a moisturizer in your bag you can mix it with that for a super natural look.
Also, I won’t name names, but a friend of mine, puts it on her nipples to make them a little more fun, as it’s totally smudge proof. Boom.
4) Grab some floss or mini toothbrushes from your dentist’s office.
I mean, you might have done some fun and sexy things together last night but the next morning you may be grossed out by sharing a toothbrush. Girls, buy floss and stash it in your bag. It’s smaller than a toothbrush and way less obvious, plus it’s great if you feel you have some spinach stuck in there from dinner. There’s also these adorable tiny toothbrushes that fit more easily in your purse and come in a 6 pack!
Duh. I know. BUT, this is for your peace of mind so you can have a fabulous, stress-free time while sipping on your latte on your non-shameful walk home. No one wants to see that stress on your face of “Uh oh, I can’t remember, did we use one?” Not. Cute. Just throw a bunch in your bag and then you have no excuse to not look and feel fabulous about all that Adult choice making you made the night before.