Upstart popstar Courtney Stodden–recently in the news for marrying a 51-year-old–has a music video. Because we see no reason to dismiss Courtney on account of her age or extremely not-uncomfortable marriage, we’ve put together a humble examination of the clip’s basic themes in the style of comparatively legitimate criticism.

The clip, “Don’t Put It On Me” is a kiss-off to aggressive women whose lovers can’t help but find themselves attracted to the narrator. The video begins with Stodden reclining in a boat. She is relaxed, insouciant; her body language is calculated to demonstrate that she is unmenaced by the putter-on’ers to which the title refers. She sits beside her dog, which represents loyalty (it’s a double metaphor because the dog’s hair has been cruely dyed, thus demonstrating the depths of that loyalty). Though she is defiant throughout (“I will not be responsible / For your lov / er’s a / ttrac / tion”), the boat’s stillness subtly indicates Courtney’s frustration at her own inability to extricate herself from this morass of envy. Stodden also totes a cocktail, a marker of her maturity despite her young age. Further, the message of the song is ultimately one of betterment, of overcoming feebleness and cultivating meaningful bonds between women: “Now turn around and be the best you can be / You’ll be amazed how it’ll set you free / From your wicked jealousy,” she sings. It’s complex.

Note that this is only a clip and the whole song can be appreciated here. Unfortunately, watching just over a minute of “Don’t Put It On Me” is like chancing upon a single page torn from Moby Dick, which is to say in the full version, lyrics like “It’s not my fault you don’t chew sugarless gum” will wash over you.

Also, please appreciate “We Are America,” in which she coos and moans melismatically like she’s trying to seduce the song’s subjects (America’s fallen troops).


“Soldier boys and soldier girls / You were not alone when you left this world / You did not die in vain”

(via Buzzfeed)