Look, just run. Pick up your ballgown, just run away like Cinderella. It’s too late in the game for relationships that aren’t any good. If you can, just hop on a plane and flee, just chase the moon across the country and forget about your failed relationships altogether, real Angels in America-like. Check yourself into the Gritti Palace in Venice, and bring sunglasses, because there’s a glare off the canal, and you’re going to want to sit on the patio, and fall asleep listening to the water rushing so that when you wake up, you feel clean and rested and new. It will be like it never even happened.
Oh? You can’t?
You have to be rooted like a real human being? You say you’re not a fictional character from a Fitzgerald novel or a 1940’s movie? You’re just going to have to break up with someone, not pull a continental disappearing act?
Sometimes life is so goddamn depressing. Well, at least your break-up style says something about your outlook on the world. There’s that. Let’s see what it says!