Regarding this question posed by a woman on the street about whether she should just get pregnant so her boyfriend would have to marry her, I would like to offer her some impromptu advice.

Don’t do that.

Why?

Because then you’ll have a baby.

And the baby will have to be raised by someone who thought it was a good idea to get pregnant to trap someone into marriage.

So, you know, a horrible person. It will be raised by a manipulative, desperate maniac.

That’s all.

(If that does not register because that response was based in logic, it’s because all babies conceived in this way look like devil clown Ronald McDonalds).