Some prefer cocks and balls; others go for cupcakes.

I’m new to the porn world. It was never something that seemed to interest me. Occasionally, I’d come across it late at night – the soft-core stuff – on Cinemax as a kid, but I immediately changed the channel. It was baffling to me that anyone would get off on watching other people getting off. You couldn’t touch them, you weren’t even an observer in the room; you were a bystander through a box in your living room and it seemed a strange concept.

I found, as I got older, that my type of porn was the kind you read. It was my introduction to Bust’s “One Handed Read” that made me realize that something outside of whoever I was fucking could get me so hot and bothered. It got the point, that the second I got my new issue, I ran to my room and immediately flipped to that page. The fashion, columns and whoever the feminist they had on the cover would have to wait. I had to touch myself first.

It wasn’t until a couple years ago that I got into watching porn. After years of being told that “women don’t like porn” (despite a commenter who last week who said we’re taught to like it), it was with a guy that I was seeing that my mind – and other parts of my body – were enlightened by what I was seeing. I was turned on; I was excited. I wanted more. And I wasn’t about to tell any of my female friends this. Because as we just covered “women don’t like porn;” obviously that’s a “guy thing.”

Well fuck that.

I like it. Yes, there’s a lot of it I don’t like. There’s a lot that’s straight up degrading to women, humiliating and offensive to all the senses. But, to be fair, there’s also some that degrades men, too. You don’t know what true humiliation is until you come across a porn titled “Small Penis Shame” and click on it because you’re curious. It gives new meaning to the word humiliating and makes you realize that some fetishes are just out of the realm of even remote possibility of understanding.

As a woman in my early 30’s, I can tell you that I learned, was not taught, to like porn. And while I didn’t take one of my usual “scientific” polls of the women in my life, I can say that the majority of them also watch it and enjoy it, too. And why shouldn’t they? It’s just another form of getting in touch with your sexuality, recognizing that you’re a sexual being and doing something to fulfill that need. Denying you like porn when you actually do is no different than denying that you masturbate. Denial is never a good thing; especially when it comes to basic human nature.

So why should we, as women, not only start admitting that we like porn, but start watching it, too? Because we can.

Because it can teach us things, positions, and even open our minds up to fetishes that we didn’t know we had inside us. Because it’s fun, it gets things going whether your prepping for some self-love or fucking the man or woman in your life. We should start watching it, because yes, for far too long it was a “guy’s thing,” just as masturbation was considered the same, and, even at one point, sex was considered a “wifely duty” as if it were on par with doing the laundry and cleaning the dishes – things that no one truly enjoys.

If you’ve yet to sit down and watch some porn, I encourage you to do so. Find out what you like and what you don’t. If you cringe through the whole thing, want to vomit and scream out “Fuck you, Chatel! I’m never listening to you again,” then good. At least you gave it a try and that’s what life is all about: experimenting and giving the unknown an occasional whirl.

But you also might find yourself pleasantly surprised, and that’s even better.

 

Photo: Porn.Cake