Actually, no you don't. You just tell yourself this when you're bored.

Actually, no you don’t. You just tell yourself this when you’re bored.

Ugh. Social media and Google have made online stalking the easiest thing in the world, but it’s also made letting someone go for good the absolute pits. It’s way too easy to get information or see photos of your ex happy in their new life. When you’re still burned by the whole relationship, it’s the last thing you need. But, sadly, human curiosity always wins in these cases and you’re on the floor in tears.

You can block each other on different social media platforms, but do you know that blocking someone on Twitter isn’t the same as blocking someone on Facebook? You can still see what’s going on in each other’s lives, with the only difference being that you just can’t directly tweet at them. Oh, damn! Looks like your ex can check in and see how fucking fancy you are without them. Oh, double damn! You can check in and see how happy they are in that stupid photo they just posted of themselves with their new love. Like I said, shit is the pits. If only this were 1800-something, then it would all be so much easier.

But honestly, don’t you have better things to do with your time? Don’t you respect yourself way more than to put yourself through the fucking emotional ringer with your ex’s new life that is sans you?

As someone who bought herself a package of star stickers to sticker each day on my wall calendar I didn’t stalk an ex, I can tell you, some 100 days later or so, life without all that in your face is better. Maybe the star stickers were an immature choice, or maybe I was trying to make up for the fact that I didn’t get enough stars on my tests in grammar school, but it worked. I also like shiny things, so I was stoked to see them all glittering back at me when the sun hit them.

A calendar full of stickers aside, there are other reasons to never online stalk an ex again. And I mean, EVER, as in when you find out from a mutual friend that your ex’s wedding announcement is in the Sunday New York Times, you don’t read it that day. Don’t worry, the Times will still be there tomorrow, and even more importantly, so will your sanity. (Besides, it’s not like your ex would make it into the Sunday New York Times wedding announcement section anyway. Boom.)

Photo: Someecards