crying bride

If you’ve ever seen that horrible Bridezillas show, you’re well aware that this world contains hundreds of women who are willing to stage fist fights over doilies and garters for the chance to get on a reality network. Something you didn’t know? For every 10 seasons of fabricated, made-for-TV wedding fights… there’s one living, breathing, actual Bridezilla.

In truly horrifying news, a South Carolina woman was taken into custody on Christmas Day after she stabbed her fiancé, because– wait for it– they were arguing over the color scheme for their upcoming wedding. Really. For real. According to USA Today,

Deputies say the man was stabbed in the upper body, but his injuries weren’t life threatening. [Krysta] James is charged with criminal domestic violence of a high and aggravated nature. She remains in jail on a $10,000 bond and it isn’t known if she has an attorney.

I… don’t even know where to begin. I’m glad he’s okay. I’m glad she’s been arrested. I’m glad the internet still has the ability to shock me sometimes.

Approximately 99.87 percent of daytime television programs feature crying women in white dresses throwing wine on everyone they love, but it never occurred to me that one of those characters could be walking among us. Next you’re going to tell me that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are real human beings, and not lifelike wax sculptures that somebody crafted in the E! studios and then propped up like Weekend At Bernie’s for the entire runtime of The Hills. Next you’re going to tell me that Paris Hilton isn’t a Japanese sex robot. Next you’re going to tell me that Donald Trump isn’t a CGI villain in a sci-fi movie. My world has been rocked; I don’t know what to believe anymore.

What else did we learn today? Wedding colors are serious business. You shouldn’t stab people. The world is somewhat terrifying.

Via Jezebel / Photo: Shutterstock