Yesterday, editors Jennifer and Ashley discussed the various pros and cons of faking an orgasm. Just kidding, they mainly fought about Marcel The Shell With Shoes On. But it made me curious as to why anyone would ever think that this is a good idea. (Faking an orgasm, that is. Not stop motion animation.) The way I see it, the only semi-understandable reason to fake an orgasm (assuming you can have real ones) is that you’ve completely given up on someone as a lover and want the sex you’re currently having with him to be over as soon as possible so that you can commence never having sex with him again. But in that case, you’re being kind of a jerk to other women, in that this guy gets to keep walking around in the world thinking the circular thrusting move he learned from Maxim is the be-all and end-all of pleasure for ladies. And also, if you’re never going to sex this guy again, what do you care if your vagina hurts his feelings?

A new study published in The Archives Of Sexual Behavior might shed some additional light on this dark and confusing subject. Researchers asked 453 straight women in long term, monogamous relationships about their orgasm fakery as well as their “mate retention acts,” which include everything from “Dressed nicely to maintain my partner’s interest” to “Yelled at a woman who looked at my partner.” (Did anyone say yes to that one? I hope not.) They also asked them if they were scared of their partners cheating on them.

Via Business Insider:

The results indicated that (1) women who perceived higher risk of partner infidelity were more likely to report pretending orgasm, (2) women who reported greater likelihood of pretending orgasm also reported performing more mate retention behaviors, and (3) women’s perceptions of partner infidelity risk mediated the relationship between pretending orgasm and the performance of cost-inflicting mate retention behaviors, such as Intersexual Negative Inducements (“Flirted with someone in front of my partner”) and Intrasexual Negative Inducements (“Yelled at a woman who looked at my partner”). Thus, pretending orgasm may be part of a broader strategy of mate retention performed by women who perceive higher risk of partner infidelity.

So basically, women who are insecure about their relationships are more likely to fake orgasms. I’m thinking their logic goes, “getting me off with five minutes of thrusting makes him feel like a hero, and he will like me more if he feels like a hero when he’s with me.” I’m also inclined to believe that if you’re insecure in your relationship, it’s probably harder to let go enough to have an orgasm in the first place, creating more of a need for fakery. The study’s authors also point out some evo-psych theories about how orgasms signal fidelity on the woman’s part because they show she’s satisfied with her man and isn’t going to cheat on him. Therefore making him more likely to “invest” in her and her children, blah blah.

I’d be interested to see if any of these “mate-retention” behaviors actually worked, or if they only served to make the ladies seem crazy. I mean, yelling at other women in the street sounds somewhat…off-putting. In the end, the link between faking it and insecurity is far from proven, but as a sexually avaricious person, I am obligated to advise you that faking it greatly decreases your chances of ever getting to have a real one with your current dong, and that’s a good enough reason for many.

(Via Jezebel)