In the February 2011 issue of Harper’s Bazaar, Nicole Kidman talks about how she prayed to meet a good man, and that her prayers were answered in the form of husband Keith Urban. As a spiritual person, I completely understand the way it feels to pray for something or ask G-d/the universe/your deity of choice for it. But asking for a man? That might be going a little too far.

For me, prayer isn’t about asking for specific stuff – G-d isn’t Santa. Instead, it’s about quietly reflecting and contemplating life and asking for the strength to change or the ability to be better. Rather than saying “send me a man,” I’ve said things like “Help me to be mature in this situation,” or “help me be prescient enough to take notice of the right person when he comes along,” but outright asking for a man seems kind of odd to me. I know that spirituality is a deeply personal thing and every person’s connection to their faith is different, but I do believe that my own actions play a role in what happens to me. I don’t want to sit around waiting for G-d to send me a man when I could be out living my life and potentially meeting one all on my own.

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