Jennifer Dziura writes career and life advice weekly on TheGloss. Here is an archive, and here is an archive of Bullish columns from our sister site TheGrindstone.
This December, I spent two weeks in a hotel in Florida, mostly by myself, periodically transferring myself from a chaise lounge by the pool to a spot at the hotel bar, wrapped up in thought.
(See Bullish: How to Have a Staidcation).
I was partly rewarding myself for churning out another educational book last year (I did a lot of work on this), but I was mostly churning away on a BIG PLAN THAT I WILL TELL YOU ABOUT NOW:
This 2013, I am starting 12 businesses in 12 months. More
Life ain’t City Slickers, even when you awkwardly insert folksy terms like “ain’t” into your daily speech. More
When I first got a job writing on the internet, I was asked what I thought the most popular item on the CNN was. I think I guessed “things pertaining to left wing politics.” I guessed that because I have twisted, ongoing love affair with logic. The correct answer was “animal videos!”
Normally, I think horoscopes are ridiculous, but last night I was given the gift of prophecy, so, you know. Sharing is caring! Happy Valentine’s week! More
I mean, here’s one. Because at TheGloss we don’t just bring you fashion and beauty, we bring you impromptu eulogies. More
I have a snuggie. I think it started out being this “hahaha, ironic!” thing, but now it’s just a warm fuzzy arm-blanket that really lets me sip tea in peace. It’s the best. Unlike the lady in thisillustration, however, I rarely wear my ironic/now serious item out in public. Except to fashion week, where it is important to be fashionable. Another office favorite includes a sweater which reads “Cowy Potter and the Goblet of Milk” – the owner notes “it’s the shirt I got the most compliments on in college.” Because Harry Potter looked like a cow. That’s funny. You can buy one here, which I will be doing, in preparation for fashion week. If you are an interesting person who owns interesting things, please feel free to share. More
Fashionable? Sorry, I just laughed so hard I coughed up a hairball. More
Oh, hi. It’s nice to see you. I don’t share this with everyone, because it’s some sacred stuff I think I learned about from Harry Potter, but I thought you’d like to meet my spirit animal. Her name is Crystal the Monkey. On the inside, I am her. She is me. I would say she might be your spirit animal, too, but she isn’t. She is mine. You can google your own monkey. More
So crazy, they just might work. More
I know that you woke up this morning and thought “I should snort all the bath salts.” But I would like to say “no.” No, because you will kill a goat and the blood will get everywhere! Even over your bra and panties.
How do I know this? Because stuff went down. More
Oh, hi, this is Larry. He is the official cat of 10 Downing Street, which is the residence of the Prime Minister. As you can see, Larry is wearing a bow-tie to celebrate the royal wedding. If Larry had seen Princess Beatrice, he would have torn that hat off her head with his tiny cat-fangs, because Larry knows how to dress appropriately. Larry thinks of his bowties as “textile butterflies.” Larry is silently judging what you are wearing right now. Larry is the best picture you have seen all day. – Glamour More
Spudina is a hedghog who has lost all her spines! Staff at St Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital in Buckinghamshire is conducting tests to determine the cause of her spine loss. Until a better solution is found, they’re using sweaters to keep her warm and providing her with regular skin massages. More
Well, I guess you should have thought about that before you at all the honey, Pooh. I guess you should have spent a little bit more time considering the effect refined carbs would have on your life. More