Topic: alcohol

6 Things That Will Definitely Make Your Hangover Worse

6 Things That Will Definitely Make Your Hangover Worse

The party season is upon us–it’s dreadful, but also sort of fun in a dorky and festive kind of way. If you were hungover the past two weekends of Halloween, you were in good company. Our boozy nights and weak sickly mornings aren’t behind us yet. Halloween was just the beginning. The next few months it’s going to be holiday and holiday after holiday with all the bells, whistles, cocktails and awkward social affairs you can handle. If we want to keep raising hell, we’re going to have to be smarter about. We can’t live like this any longer. I wouldn’t wish another hangover on my worst enemy. More »

10 Cheap Ways To Beat The Late Summer Doldrums Without Leaving Town

10 Cheap Ways To Beat The Late Summer Doldrums Without Leaving Town

As August brings the last sweaty gasps of summer, you may find yourself feeling angsty about all the beach-scapes and lobsters polluting your Instagram feed. Maybe you can’t afford to go on vacation, maybe you have to work, or maybe you’ve committed yourself to going to every fucking show a certain DIY venue puts on for a whole month. Whatever the reason, just because you have to stay put doesn’t mean you can’t still have fun in whatever paltry leisure time you are blessed with. From doing things in the great outdoors to perfecting the art of stillness, there are plenty of ways you can cool your jets without going too far from home. More »

The 10 Stages Of Hungover Parenting

The 10 Stages Of Hungover Parenting

1. The Wake Up

Head pounding, room spinning, wake up, groggily putting pieces together after debauchery of last night’s birthday celebration. Naked in bed. My fiancé beside me. Memory flash of him picking me up off of hallway entrance floor last night, carrying me upstairs, undressing me like a baby. OMG! FUCK! I have a baby! Dear god, what kind of mother am I? More »

Things I Wish People Could Be Breathalyzed For

Things I Wish People Could Be Breathalyzed For

Substances like meth, cocaine, heroin, morphine and weed may soon be widely detectable via breathalyzer tests. But science, oh science, when will you start helping me determine what really matters?

If only breathalyzer tests could allow us to weed out the people we know we will never get along with. Sure, opposites can attract, but there are certain “quirks” to people’s personalities that I am quite sure I want to avoid. It would eliminate the awkward silence that comes after somebody mentions their undying loyalty to Ann Coulter during dinner or that frustrating moment when you realize you’re talking to a person who says “literally” and “ironic” as often as possible and seemingly has no idea what either word means. These are nice things to avoid, but the following are even more so. More »

Let’s All Celebrate Our Poor Life Decisions! (And How Far We’ve Come)

Letâs All Celebrate Our Poor Life Decisions! (And How Far Weâve Come)

The other night, I posted a Facebook status saying “Let’s all celebrate our poor life decisions! Here’s mine: “In college (circa 2006) I would come home really drunk and stay up until 5 am reading Wikipedia entries of famous Nazis and chain smoking indoors while using a mug as an ashtray. Now you go.” And the responses came pouring in, hilariousness ranging from the substance-induced to the just-plain-dumb-because-you’re young kind of stuff. More »