Men are like wild animals. They fight, they’re filthy, and they will resort to some pretty dirty tricks to get you to sleep with them. They’re also insanely competitive, and sometimes puke in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Some animals have some pretty bizarre mating rituals that sound eerily family. Maybe even too familiar. Here are the ten most bizarre mating rituals in the animal kingdom — and some reasons why they remind me of my boyfriend. More
I quite often think that child stars never make it big, but then I realize that I’m just never tracking their careers like, at all.
This is Kevin Zegers in Air Bud (it was part of that “animals doing things with young boys” genre that defined your childhood): More
“Ideal for distinguished gents and ladies alike, it really does look smashing under a smart jacket. Having said that, stick it on with a pair of jeans and a T-shirt and you’ll look pretty dapper too!” More
Lets skip the whole bestiality discussion and just imagine a beautiful world where awesome humans and awesome animals could go on awesome dates together. These animals will love you whenever, listen to you always, and are probably way more interesting than any human I could persuade to ride a two-seater bicycle with me (that’s really what dating is in my mind).
I mean, who wouldn’t date an Astro Chimp or a Solider Bear who smokes cigarettes and eats them?
Only a fool who hates fun. More
This handsome, well-dressed horse might just be the new honey badger. More
Did you know your beloved tapered pants are slowly draining the life out of you like a sexy, slimming anaconda? It’s true; the Wall Street Journal said so. Furthermore, did you know there are loads of even worse things coming that will kill you even faster and more effectively? Trends are great like that, always trying to top each other. Here are ten articles of clothing (both currently popular, and coming in 2013) that will almost definitely inflict severe harm on that frail physical vessel you call a body. You’ve been warned. More
If you forgot to mute the commercials during the Oscars last night, you might have seen a strange attack ad about how you should not, under any circumstances, donate money to The Humane Society, because they only give 1% of their donation money to “local shelters.” What the hell was that all about? Isn’t The Humane Society pretty well-regarded for their work helping adorable animals in trouble? Who hates our furry friends enough to run an ad like this, and furthermore, has the money to do so during the Oscars? More
When I first got a job writing on the internet, I was asked what I thought the most popular item on the CNN was. I think I guessed “things pertaining to left wing politics.” I guessed that because I have twisted, ongoing love affair with logic. The correct answer was “animal videos!”
You might not be able to put lipstick on a pig, but did you know they look amazing in fancy necklaces? I don’t care what the killjoy Bible says, pearls and swine are a great combination.
This month’s edition of Polish fashion mag VIVA! Moda features a great editorial in which accessories are modeled by various types of furry and scaly little friends. Does it make you want to buy the things featured, or simply reduce your bacon intake? Click through to find out. More
In the January issue of Vogue Russia, a standout editorial features model Lily Cole alongside a black panther in some sort of white space room, wearing thousands of dollars worth of couture. It says something about the fashion industry’s excess that this editorial reads as fairly stripped down and basic. Anyway, click through to see Lily Cole in various smashing spring 2012 looks by Alexander McQueen, Louis Vuitton, Marni, and others. More
Happy holiday weekend, everyone! By now, you’re probably on your way to spend time with your maybe great, maybe awful families. Postpone the inevitable by watching this adorable video. More
Example: their size fluctuates unpredictably. More
A loving, loving cuddle. More
If you think dogs are exempt from Slut-o-ween by virtue of belonging to a species that doesn’t understand the concept of “sexy clothing,” think again. Just because they have no fucking clue what’s going on doesn’t mean humans aren’t going to cram them into the most ridiculous little dog outfits they can find, and then get mad when they pee and poop all over them. In honor of Slut-o-ween Week, I’ve scoured the Internet for the absolute finest in canine sluttire. And because I’m an evil cat person, there are a few cats at the end, as a bonus. (Cats rule.) More