Topic: Ashley Cardiff

Wed Bed Dead: Don’t Have Sex With The Wolverine Because His Metal Bones Will Crush You

Wed Bed Dead: Don't Have Sex With The Wolverine Because His Metal Bones Will Crush You

This week, The Wolverine enters the theaters and lovers of tiny hairy men and superfluous definite articles rejoice. Here at The Gloss, two huge fans of tiny hairy men and superfluous definite articles are debating a trio of the Marvelverse’s most famous mutants–gruff and effectively immortal anti-hero (the) Wolverine, kinetic energy master/hot Cajun thief Gambit and metal-controlling apex predator Magneto. Of course, we couldn’t talk about X-Men without some nods to teleporting husband material Nightcrawler, lame duck Cyclops and… uh… Spiderman? More »

Famous Virgins Wed Bed Dead: Just Because Jon Snow Is Good At “Tongue Stuff” Doesn’t Mean We Want To F*ck Him

Famous Virgins Wed Bed Dead: Just Because Jon Snow Is Good At "Tongue Stuff" Doesn't Mean We Want To F*ck Him

This week, in honor of my new book Night Terrors, we’re playing a fraught game of WBD with three famous virgins. Not that the book is really about virginity (or losing it) but it is about sex and anxiety so it seemed like pretty appropriate territory. We’ll be playing with Sir Isaac Newton, king of science, Britney Spears, onetime Princess of Pop, and Game of ThronesJon Snow, master of the “tongue stuff.” More »

Wed Bed Dead: On The F*ckability Of French Fries With Special Guest Julie Klausner!

Wed Bed Dead: On The F*ckability Of French Fries With Special Guest Julie Klausner!

This week, Jen sits things out while we play a carb-centric game of WBD with a very special guest: the amazing Ms. Julie Klausner.

Julie was kind enough to take time out of her busy schedule–she’s got a brand new book out called Art Girls Are Easy–to come by and discuss the pros and cons of fucking/marrying/and killing some classic carbohydrates: a baguette, a bowl of pasta and a basket of French fries. We managed to avoid any and all jokes about the baguette’s phallic qualities, too! More »

Great Gatsby Wed Bed Dead: Everybody Hates Daisy Buchanan, Right?

Great Gatsby Wed Bed Dead: Everybody Hates Daisy Buchanan, Right?

This week, we’re playing in honor of Baz Luhrmann‘s upcoming glitzy blockbuster, The Great Gatsby (which Jen hated, PS). Today’s trio will therefore be Jay Gatsby (played by Leonardo DiCaprio), Tom Buchanan (played by Joel Edgerton) and Nick Carraway (played by Tobey Maguire). Jen’s dream has always been to marry Gatsby, so the ‘bed’ option is the wild card here. …The one thing everyone is certain about, though, is how hard Daisy sucks. More »

Avengers Wed Bed Dead: Iron Man’s Facial Hair Is Kind Of A Dealbreaker

Avengers Wed Bed Dead: Iron Man's Facial Hair Is Kind Of A Dealbreaker

This week, we’re playing with a new trio of superheroes (as opposed to that other one)–we’ll be debate the eligibility of Avengers Iron Man (played by Robert Downey Jr.), Hulk (played by Mark Ruffalo) and Thor (played by Chris Hemsworth). None of them seem like great husbands, so your options are limited to marrying Ironman for his money, Hulk for his disinterest in socializing or Thor… because giant hammers are hilarious. More »

Wed Bed Dead: Aladdin Is The Most Uncomfortably Sexy Disney Movie

Wed Bed Dead: Aladdin Is The Most Uncomfortably Sexy Disney Movie

This week, we’re discussing a few of the better known Disney princes: Beast from Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin from Aladdin and (wwwhhhhhyyy?) Eric from The Little Mermaid. The problems each choice presents are clear: Beast is a giant monster, Eric is a total d-bag and Aladdin wears a vest with nothing underneath. What to do? Will Beast’s enormous library put him ahead of the game? Or will all that erotic tension in Aladdin affect our decision making? More »

Special Easter Bunny Wed Bed Dead: Would You Marry A Rabbit If It Had Scarlet Fever?

Special Easter Bunny Wed Bed Dead: Would You Marry A Rabbit If It Had Scarlet Fever?

This week, they’re playing a rabbit-centric game of Wed Bed Dead, in honor of the Easter Bunny. They’ll be mulling their romantic options with a cast of famous rabbits–Harvey (Jimmy Stewart‘s alcoholism-induced hallucination from Harvey), the perennially hopeless Trix Rabbit, and beloved/tragic childhood figure, the Velveteen Rabbit. Ahead, they discuss whether or not the Trix Rabbit is unforgivably incompetent and Jen figures she could tough out scarlet fever. More »